Cousin in law?
by PoTtErAnImEPrInEcEsS
Summary: Hermione Granger thought that school was hard, but now that she is getting married to the most amazing person in the world.Now that her wedding is 5 months away,she has to live through her cousin insults and her mother who want everything to be perfect.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** the character Harry, Hermione and other's are all based on the series Harry Potter made by the truly brilliant J.K Rowling...there not my original character's...this is only a fan fiction which is untrue and i made this to pass the time

**Type:** Comedy/Romance  
It is an AU fiction cause J. K totally squash the idea of harry/hermione together which is quite sad.

**Characters:**

Harry James Potter

Hermione Jane Granger

Isabel Granger (Hermione's Cousin)

Jessica Langer

Ronald Wesley

Luna Lovegood

Draco Malfoy

Ginny Malfoy (was a Wesley)

-there might be more added in the future

This is not the First Chapter but its a Prologue (introduction)

Harry James Potter has everything he wants out of life, he is a damn hell of a Quidditch player and plays for the Chudley Cannons as a seeker, is rich and handsome and has the most beautiful fiancé and best friend, Hermione Granger. Everything is going well in his life until Hermione's mom invites her cousin over whom Hermione hates. Isabel, who came to help with the wedding and be Hermione wedding planner plus maid of honor. Will Hermione be able to live through her cousin remarks and try not to let Isabel get on her nerves? Will she be able to control the monster she unleashed, known as her mother, during these 5 months? And to top that, her cousin who brought her friend, Jessica along, is now hitting on Harry twenty-four hours which Hermione hates. For Hermione, it will be a long 5 months were she has to tolerant her cousin, mother and the brat who is hitting on her fiancé. What a hell of a wedding it would be which Hermione would have to live thorugh.


	2. WHAT Isabel is coming?

Here is the first chapter and like the declaimer says … I do not own Harry Potter only J.k Rowling, the best author in the world, does. And for all of u canon fans – I know its Ron/Hermione and Harry/Ginny - but who cares- muhahahahaha – Sorry for all the spelling mistakes because I didn't have time to get it beta

"Wow look at him go, says Mike, "have you ever seen a defense like that anywhere".

"Yes I totally agree with you Mike, looks like the Canons will totally win this game once again, with a player like Potter" exclaimed Shawn.

"Wait, and Potter catches the snitch, looks like Potter has yet gained another victory for the Cannons", Mike screamed, "and look at the crowd go crazy".

"Yes" Harry yelled to the crowd while holding the snitch up high, "We Wonnnnn".

----- Somewhere in London ----  
2 hours after the victory game

"Honey congratulations", Hermione said on her cell phone, "sorry I couldn't make it but mom kept me in because she said we have to start planning the wedding".

"Sheesh", exclaimed Hermione, "from all the days she decides to plan it today".

"Talk to you later love, bye".

Yes Hermione was one miserable soul right now getting lectured from her mom about the wedding.

Hump… and it's on the day of her Harry's match. She probably wants to break me up with Ruki, thought Hermione, and set him up with some of his fan-crazed girls or worse Isabel, the sweet apple of our family's eye. Isabel, Isabel and Isabel, I hate her so much. Everyone thought she was perfect but she knew the real Isabel and she was a belched whale with an extra large head. Stupid Isabel, wreck all my thoughts look that is how evil she is. She beats the evilness of Voldemort anyway.

"And anyway Isabel dear is coming over to help us with your wedding with Henry"  
"Mom's its Harry" Hermione answered back with an eye roll.

Now where was I, yes Harry would look great with a suite and a tie and a…….WHAT Isabel is coming here, the belched whale.

"MOM what do you mean she is coming, doesn't she have a life other than ruining others".  
"Hermione I will not tolerate this behavior with Isabel, and she is coming to help you work on your wedding".

"Remember how well she did at Draco's wedding, well I asked her to come and help us plan yours and plus she is a lot smarter than you both in knowledge and fashion"

What Isabel smarter than me, in her dreams. She is coming here, that is great now I have to see her ugly face everyday in the morning, afternoon and night. At least she is not staying with me than I am ok. I bet Harry would just puke when he sees her face.

"Oh yes, and she is staying with you"  
"What…..no mom she is not….what aruggg fine" no use of arguing with mom. She will just probably give me another lecture.

"So anyway what colors do you like best pink or blue….."

Great now she has to take care of two things firstly, Ron who makes a mess in the kitchen every time he comes over and than the goddess of stupidity her own cousin Isabel. She better not even think about touching or evening breathing, on her Harry. He is hers and will stay hers. No one has the right to touch him.

Hmm……maybe she could play matchmaker and get her and John on a date. Yah….that way she and John will be busy with each other and she and Harry could have more bounding time. Hump… and her Mom thought she wasn't smart. This is going to be a really interesting cousin and cousin bounding time.

"Bye mom, I have to tell Harry that his cousin-in-law is coming" said Hermione and speeded out through the door.

All her mom could do was nod.


	3. Breaking the news

Soo sorry for the big gap… I know it is not an excuse of saying that I was busy. But my muse had kind of left me and I couldn't think … but less chatting and here is the story..plzz read and review.. I am planning on making an other Harry potter fanfic that goes through there 7th year with Harry, Hermione and Ron. And of course its going to be h/hr.. Tell me what u guys think bout that .. should I do it or not

Breaking the news

----- Harry's house -------

Hmm…. Something smell's, thought Harry, and it smells really bad.  
Harry, who was working on his strategy for his next game, headed out his bedroom door to the hallway, which leaves to the kitchen, to see what that awful smell was. No surprise there, thought Harry as he leaned on the doorway, Mione is cooking. Man I love her to death but why does she have to cook, she knows she sucks at it, Harry thought quietly in his head.

"Hey honey what's cooking" asked Harry.  
"Oh….hey there, I am cooking your favorite dish…." Hermione replied with a smile.  
"Hmm……. I guess I should call up Ron to pick up some take out, answered Harry with a smile, "don't want to start pukeing before the next match or worse getting food poisoning".

Harry started to choke playfully after looking at Hermione's cooking. Hermione thought that wasn't funny, and then playfully slapped Harry on his chest.  
"You say anything about my cooking again and you're sleeping on the sofa young man" replied an angry Hermione. on … you know I was just having some fun plus I can't help it if you cooking is so bad".  
"Hump….fine tell him to order take out….. and I thought that we could have some bounding time together honestly I tried to do this much for you and you turn it down what would happen when we get married".  
"Ok…….thanks love" said Harry while given her a peck on the lips.

Harry left the kitchen fast before he had to hear another one of Hermione's lecture that never made any sense to him.

-------------------------------------

"See take out wasn't that bad now was it" Harry said while patting his stomach.  
"Well if we compare it too Hermione's cooking than yes, its way better and safer" added Ron with a laugh.  
"Har- har very funny laugh it up would yah"  
"Ohh……come on Hermy, you know that when it comes to cooking you're a klutz" giggled (manly) Ron  
"What ever, anyway Honey my devil of a cousin is coming over to stay till the wedding so I was wondering if we can build a dungeon in our house, like Professor Snape has in Hogwarts, for her to live in" said a thoughtful Hermione, "Even better why don't we give her away to Voldemort, that way we save our wedding and the wizarding world".  
" Hmm…… don't know, I bet if we lock her up she might find a way out cause I did heard from your mom that she is quite smart" replied a dazed Harry while looking at the apple pie, " sure but I believe that you would make a better new dark lord than Isabel " added Harry with a smile.  
"Hump…. I will pretend I didn't here the last part and if she is not smart, for god sake, I know that even I am smarter than her and why does everyone assume that she is smart" replied an annoyed hermione.  
"Your right, hey Harry, Hermione actually has a point," said Ron, "How could Isabel be smarter then Hermione if Hermione read Hogwarts a History 500 million times"  
Both boys had burst out laughing right after Ron had answered Hermione.

" Okie, Ron that's enough, replied a chuckling Harry, "remember this is Hermione your making fun of, she could hex both of us all the way to Mars"

"Thanks for the support LOVE" carried Hermione while emphasizing the last word.

"Ohh... come on love", said Harry while using "The Grin", "You know I Love yah".

Harry who then got up and kissed Hermione on the lips.

"Ahhh …, yelled Ron, "Before you guys decide to rip each other clothes off I like to say that Ginny preganant with the ferret baby" "How tragic isn't for the Weaselys"

" Really, replied a dazed Hermione, after her 2 minute make-out session with Harry, " That is great and when are they coming back again?"

" After this Saturday because they want to help out with the wedding plan" Ron said while stuffing Apple pie down his throat.

"But Hermione, I honestly love to meet this cousin of yours", replied Ron.

Why are you so interested, replied a confused Harry.

"You know what they say, said Ron proudly, "If one turn out to be smart, the other is totally sexy"

Both Ron and Harry burst out laughing spraying apple pie all over the dinning table.

Yah, thought Hermione, laugh like hyenas. They don't know that this is a serious matter. Isabel or should I call her you-know-who number 2 was coming and that meant that family relations break, boys break up with their girl friends and husbands cheat on their wives. She is like a virus worse than the one on the computer heck she is worse than a flu. Who cares what they think, well though Ron should, after all he will end up with her after I am through with them. Now that if you think about it both Ron and Isabel will be a prefect match together with both being thick headed, annoying and have no path in life or know what they are aiming for. Hmm…. I will be doing such a good deed bring two helpless souls together.


	4. London Airport

Sorry guys it took so long.... School got in the way and consumed all my free time ... maybe i might post the next chapter thsi week.. bu like before it depends on my schedule..Enjoy this chapter :P

* * *

----5:30 pm at the London Airport -------

* * *

Ahhh….. God I hate this. I am sitting here in the bloody airport waiting for my heck of an annoying cousin baldy. Sheesh, if she is another hour late I will just let her sit here and rot. Yes, that is exactly what I should be doing but if my mom fined out I am going to be trouble. Let's say that being in hell is 10 times safer.

"Hey Mione where is your cousin" replied a bored Harry.  
"I don't know sheesh, but I bet the plane didn't lift off cause of her" said a humored Hermione "Ahh… I can just imagine her now, I mean no offence to her but she is to fat for a plane to carry her" chuckled Hermione.  
"Love you should really not insult your cousin" answered an annoyed Harry, "You're not really good at it" and he gave Hermione his puppy dog face just so it would not be to insulting.  
"Fine, now I know I am not appreciate"  
"Hey Hermit, did you know I borrowed you edition on Hogwarts: A history and I think I got pizza all over it" said Ron who came out of no where holding her Hogwarts: A history.  
"I told you Ron not to call….WHAT…. on my Hogwarts: A history book…..Ohhhh you're a dead man now"  
"I knew it, told yah Harry, that Hermione act's like Voldemort blend in with Snape for fashion" said Ron, "Do you have any relation what-so-ever with a Malfoy, maybe his close cousin or something".  
"Ohhh…..You're so dead"  
"You already said that before but I am alive and still am", said Ron while saluting towards Hermione with his idiotic grin (which Hermione hates).  
"Stop both of you", said an irritated Harry, "Sheesh how much you guy's fight you're …honestly sometimes I wonder if it is sexual tension between you two"  
"ARE YOU CRAZY, answered an angry Hermione, "THE ONLY MAN FOR ME IS MY HARRY AND NO ONE ELSE" she said this while starting daggers at Harry.

"Sorry …… Love, it was just a joke and you know that I love you" said a nervous and fighting Harry. Let me tell you one thing, Harry can defeat the Dark Lord, kick Death Eaters butts but he will always be scared of Hermione Granger.

"Hmmm … and don't you forget that" then Hermione pulled Harry down by the collar and started a heated make-out session, which caught them a lot of attention in the airport.  
"Hmm….what a great idea, Harry you can stay with Hermione, unfortunately", Ron said fast "and I can hook myself with Isabel" said an excited and dreamy Ron.

* * *

2 Hours later

"Twinkle, Twinkle little star …."

"Shut up Ron "said a angry Hermione and bored Harry

"How I wonder what you are…"

"SHUT UP RONALD"

"What I am bored, what else do you expect me to sing" said Ron and then took a 2 minutes pause before adding "how about High school musical"

" Ahhhhh" … yelled Harry and then looked at Hermione and said, "where is she Hermione"  
"I don't know, dammit" Hermione looked at her watch than at the terminal, "Probably got stuck at the entrance of the plane because of how fat she is'.

" Really Hermione, if Aunt Carol found out what your saying about me she will skin you alive and not only that but I am not as fat as you so hush it" replied Isabel with her hands on her hips and an evil smirk matching her face that could put Malfoy to shame.


	5. Dinner Time

Hey everyone. I was going to get this up for Christmas time, to give you guys an early Christmas present, but I totally forgot. So hope you guys got lots of presents and had a vary Merry Christmas. But Happy New Year and may you new year resolutions be inspiring enough to change the world.

Dinner time 

"Hello everyone" screamed Ron as he came threw the french doors of 234 Brisfale street.  
"Hey man, did you bring the food I asked you to" replied Harry while looking over Hermione shoulders.  
"Yup", Ron answered, "It's right in this bag". " I ….. wait, I swear it was in this bag just when I left the food market"

"Of course, tell Ronald to buy the food", Hermione said angrily " Honestly Harry, you know that Ron is going to eat the food and yet you ….mufffpp.

" Ewww should have known you guys would have been making out" said Isabel.  
"Ahhh…..you must be Isabell", Ron said while taking her hand and kissing the back of it' "who knew Hermione had such a hot cousin". "Are you sure your related to Hermione?".  
"I know, people ask me the same question many times before " where then Isabel winked at Hermione who pulled away from Harry's distracting mouth immediately.  
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN" screamed Hermione, "She's not half as prêt…..  
Oh come on love" said Harry, "You know that's not true, there is no one as sexy as you anyways".  
"Figure you say that Harry, you are her fiancé after all" Isabel who then stuck her tongue out on Hermione after her cheeky remark.  
Ron chuckled and than said "That's it people, let's go I am starving".

-------Sleeping time---------------------

"The dessert was excellent" said Harry as he exited from the washroom, "It has to be Isabel Hun, because I know you can't cook that good".  
"What do you mean by that" said Hermione throwing death glares at him.  
"Ahhh….come on", said Harry than he wrapped his arms around Hermione's waist, "I still love you but remember I was just telling the truth".  
"Hmm…but it's not like you could cook great either"  
"Hey….. Men aren't supposed to cook."  
"Well how come Draco is so good at cooking"

"So…I see how it is than ….your into Draco now aren't you….well that's ok than I will marry Isabel."  
"Don't you dare", and pushed Harry on the bed and strangled his hips.  
"Hmm…aren't we getting a little excited" said an amused Harry.  
"Oh…Just shut up and kiss me"

" Hermione …mpff … we should .. mupff "

"We should what love" as Hermione started to unbuckle his jeans, Isabel burst right into the room.

"Stop right there" and than Isabel went and pushed Hermione off of Harry, "What do you think you two where doing honestly if I didn't come a bit earlier you too would have been shagging each other like bunnies".  
"Well can you go so we can do exactly what you said with PRIVACY"  
"Nope", Isabel than grab Harry's shirt and pushed him out the door, "Honestly did you guys ever heard of honeymoon". "That is where you do these kind of things for god sake".  
She turned to Harry and said "Go sleep in some other room and NOT WITH HERMIONE".  
"Sheesh…women, always ruining all the fun" said Harry as he started walking away.  
When Harry was gone she turned to Hermione, slapped Hermione across the arm and said "I knew from the day you where born that you will be an insult to our family".  
"What the hell is wrong with you women?"  
"What's wrong with me….your the one that is acting like it's your wedding night"  
"Why do you care". "You're just jealous that you don't have some one like Harry"

"Just go to sleep before I have to call up your Mom", said a sarcastic Isabel, "And scoot over a little".  
"Why"  
"Cause I am staying here, no matter if you like it or not". "Knowing you, the moment I leave this room you would have your Harryi back in here".

Great, now I have to sleep on the same bed as her. Could life get any worse than it already is? I have a cousin that would match the looks and personality of professor Snape and now she is lecturing me about what is good and what is bad. Oh god help me, I don't know what she will wreck next.

__________________


End file.
